live love in the world

Margot's Monday Minute: Love Happens As We Share Life Together

2012-01-30T03:43:00.001-08:00

MMM #8: Crazy Nutty Fear & Neighbor-Love

2012-01-23T04:35:00.001-08:00

Captain Justice and The Lie I Choose To Believe

2012-01-20T06:12:00.000-08:00

Don't get excited, Regulars. I did not suddenly get younger and cuter.

This is the lovely and talented Rachel Held Evans--read her Evolving in Monkeytown and you won't be sorry--and she welcomed me to write some words on her blog today.

READ HERE. Enjoy, ruminate, share.

Enter to win! $10 iTunes gift card!

2012-01-18T09:47:00.000-08:00

This month we're having a drawing for a $10 iTunes gift card from the comments, below! Visit again on Feb. 1, 2012, to find out if you've won!

Comments could include, but are not limited to...

"My favorite thing about Small Things was..."

"I have not read this green book, but I saw it on Amazon, so it does exist."

"Margot was so dead wrong about ________..."

The possibilities are endless. Comment now, comment often.

MMM #7: Shane Claiborne on Love That's "Simple" but not "Easy"

2012-01-16T05:17:00.000-08:00

Margot's Monday Minute: Employing Your Social Capital

2012-01-09T07:23:00.001-08:00

Live in the burbs? Embrace God's Heart for those Who Are Poor WHERE YOU ARE.

2012-01-06T07:40:00.000-08:00

Live in the burbs? Engage with the ones God loves anyway. : ) And do it right where you are...

Read "A Suburban Faith" at Relevant online!

Finding Our "Sameness" with Julie Clawson, on Margot's Monday Minute

2012-01-02T06:59:00.001-08:00

Margots Monday Minute #4: My friend Tom on Neighbor-Love

2011-12-26T09:54:00.001-08:00

If we all joined Tom in this simple practice, we'd be on our way to Neighbor-Love...

Jesus, Crosby-Stills-n-Nash & my friend Aaron

2011-12-19T05:13:00.000-08:00

Jesus, Crosby-Stills-n-Nash & my friend Aaron are always saying...

Win a Book!

2011-12-14T18:09:00.000-08:00

Visit The Start Project & leave your name in the comments section to be eligible to win a free copy of Small Things!

CLICK HERE

Just say no to haters...

2011-12-13T15:17:00.000-08:00

If you're as fed up with this All-American Muslim business in the media as I am, check out my post on Her.meneutics and chime in! HERE

2. Margot’s Monday Minute #2: Spend With Integrity This Holiday (Dec. 12, 2011)

2011-12-12T04:42:00.001-08:00

2 Margot's Monday Minutes in a row sort of make it a pattern now...

Delighting in My Children as My Father Delights in Me: Guest Post by Erika Shelton Castiglione

2011-12-07T04:57:00.000-08:00

A special welcome to guest blogger Erika Shelton Castiglione today! Reminding us what the Father's love is like...

A few weeks ago I attended an Open House in my middle son’s kindergarten class. It was a very simple affair and yet I found myself close to tears on several occasions. I love the way he draws people: a big circle for a head, then two legs that extend from the head, then arms coming off the legs, and, usually, light-sabers at the ends of the arms (apparently light-sabers are more important than torsos). I think his phonetic spelling is adorable. I loved watching him recite Joshua 1:9 (with motions) and I loved the way he beamed with pride, his hidden dimple coming out on his right cheek, as he walked me from station to station, showing me the things he is learning.

This strange and wonderful emotion has overwhelmed frequently as a parent. Though it is similar to love, I think the word “delight” describes it more accurately. I remember staring at my firstborn daughter and thinking that in all my life I had never seen anything more beautiful—no sunset, no beach, no mountain, no work of art. In my mind, nothing could compare with her loveliness. I still feel that way when I see any of my children sleeping, or flushed with joy or accomplishment, or giggling. When my youngest son grabs my face in his hands and pulls me close to entrust his secrets to me, I melt. I have been blessed to know the comfort of my parents’ love, the life-giving camaraderie of siblings and close friends, I have had crushes and I have fallen in love, but until I had children, I had never delighted in another person in this particular way. I never knew a simple milestone could undo me, I never knew that I could be so proud of the tiniest step forward.

Don’t get me wrong. It’s not as if it’s always a love-fest at our house. There are plenty of times when I am glad I am not on film and my children are far from perfect, but, even still, I am surprised that I am capable of these feelings. I don’t have to work for them; in fact, they overwhelm me without warning. Even though I am often full of insecurity, cowardice, pride, and a host of other sins, I still long for what is best is for my children. Why can’t I always see that my Heavenly Father, who does not have the same limitations as me, perfectly loves and delights in me?

One of my favorite passages about God’s parental love is Hosea 11:3-4, “Yet it was I who taught Ephraim to walk; I took them up in my arms, but they did not know that I healed them. I led them with bands of human kindness, with cords of love. I treated them like those who lift infants to their cheeks; I bent down to them and fed them.” (Common English Version) Long before He gave us the parable of the prodigal son, God paints Himself as a rejected Father who can’t help but love the children he fed, those he taught to walk, those whose wounds he healed. When presenting a picture of a restored Israel at the end of Isaiah, He compares His love to the comfort of a mother (Isaiah 66:13). Author Brennan Manning says, “If you took the love of all the best fathers and mothers who have ever lived (think about that for a moment)-all the goodness, kindness, fidelity, wisdom, tenderness, strength, and love-and united all those virtues in one person, that person would only be a faint shadow of the love and mercy in the heart of God for you and me.”

My sons have not yet figured out that I can’t carry a tune (unfortunately I can’t say the same for their older sister) and at night, as they lay in their bunk beds, with only the light from the hallway, they often ask me to sing. Tired from the demands of the day, my mind always goes back to the simple praise songs I learned in high school and college. The other night, while giving my “special” rendition of “I love you, Lord,” I was reminded of Zephaniah 3:17, “The LORD your God is in your midst—a warrior bringing victory. He will create calm with his love; he will rejoice over you with singing.” (Common English Version) Could it really be that while I was singing over them, God was singing over me? I truly believe that if we could more clearly comprehend the lavish love our Heavenly Father has for us, our whole lives would change. I pray that those of us who have been made aware of the magnificent, crazy truth that we are the object of our creator’s delight, would press on it to believe his love, live in his truth, and give his grace to others.

Good News, Bad News

2011-12-06T05:53:00.000-08:00

The good news is that the unrealistic standard of beauty which has been driving women like us to diet, binge, purge, paint, nip and tuck is now attainable!

The bad news is that it's because H&M fashions are now advertising their garments using completely virtual bodies and photoshopping on the heads of (mostly) real women. Which you could do at home if you really wanted to. [MORE HERE]

Heartbreaking, as always, because we are so prone to believe what we see with our eyes, and listen to the lies that tell us we're not quite good enough. The fortuitous affordable solution? Stop shopping. Dump your catalogues. Cancel your subscriptions to dangerous women's magazines. You don't HAVE to, of course, but my (informed) hunch is that you will live better, more freely, if you would.

Your choice.

Introducing: Margot's Monday Minute!

2011-12-05T04:38:00.001-08:00

Click below to see the world's first installment of Margot's Monday Minute! Sit back, relax and enjoy your flight.

Black Friday

2011-11-25T09:52:00.000-08:00

What Jesus might possibly say on this Black Friday. In my mind...

“Stop collecting treasures for your own benefit on earth, where moth and rust eat them and where thieves break in and steal them. Instead, collect treasures for yourselves in heaven, where moth and rust don’t eat them and where thieves don’t break in and steal them. Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." (Matthew 6:19-21, Common English Bible)

People, it is simply OBSCENE what those of us who are affluent will spend this season to buy people who have everything, and need nothing, something that they do not need and do not want.

Vist www.BuyNothingChristmas.org for great ideas about how to do the season differently!

Happy National Adoption Month

2011-11-22T09:12:00.000-08:00

From the (newish) Common English Bible...

"All who are led by God’s Spirit are God’s sons and daughters. You didn’t receive a spirit of slavery to lead you back again into fear, but you received a Spirit that shows you are adopted as his children. With this Spirit, we cry, “ Abba, Father. ” The same Spirit agrees with our spirit, that we are God’s children." Romans 8:14-16

As an adoptee and an adoptive mama, I celebrate National Adoption Month with great great joy. Above is my sweet son, Abhi, who is a true gift from God.

If you don't know Katie's story. Katie, who grew up in Tennessee--now just 23 years old--is mother to fourteen children in Uganda. She is not playing fake-mother, she is the REAL mother to these children who were once orphans. Learn more about Katie and Amazima, HERE.

Are You a Special Sinner?

2011-11-03T08:18:00.000-07:00

If the Church has ever judged you

—either gently or harshly—

to be a special sort of “sinner,”

I want to hear from you!

Many in the Church simply don’t know what to do with—aka how to love—those whom we’ve identified as “Special Sinners"...

-the young adult who comes out of the closet

-the church staff person who divorces
-the new believer who hasn't yet quit her job as an exotic dancer

-the single woman who doesn’t have an abortion
-the single or married woman who does have an abortion
-the spouse who cheated

-the elder imprisoned for white collar crime

-the youth leader accused of impropriety
-the deacon who struggles with addiction
-etcetera...

If the Church has ever judged you to be a special

sort of “sinner,” I want to hear from you.

Opening up to a complete stranger may strike you as either particularly horrible and wrong or as possibly wonderful and lifegiving. I hope and pray for the latter, as there's no way the Church can learn and grow without hearing your voice.

Today, please EMAIL your quickie answers to the questions, below, to: SinnersSpeak (at) gmail.com *

1.What behavior of yours was deemed inappropriate?
2. Were you treated poorly by Christians? How?
3. Was there someone unexpected who loved you well? How?

(your age and gender would also be helpful!)

Thank you, in advance, for sharing. -Margot

*Though I’m clearly looking for ideas to build up the Church, our correspondence is entirely confidential. So your bright idea might find voice in my writing, but never your identity. Fair?

email: Sinners Speak

To What Kind of Sinners Was Jesus a Friend?

2011-11-02T08:01:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking about sin. More at Red Letter Christian Blog! (CLICK HERE)

If You Love To Think About Barbie As Much As I Do...

2011-10-28T04:43:00.000-07:00

A thought-provoking post at Her.meneutics by Karen Swallow Prior!

CLICK HERE

Beautiful Imperfection

2011-10-12T12:52:00.000-07:00

In case you don't get "O" magazine...

...check this out at "Healthy is the New Skinny."

*Woman, above, is marked with lines to indicate area to be CARVED out for her to look like Barbie.

An Assignment...

2011-10-12T11:38:00.000-07:00

Sorry I've been a slacker blogger. I mean well. I really do.

I'm actually fixin' to RAVE about Amy Julia Becker's recent release, Good and Perfect Gift.

Consider this the prerave. Go get yourself a copy...now...so you'll be ready to agree with me when I finally get around to it...

*Good and Perfect Gift describes Becker's discovery that her newborn had Down's Syndrome & a beautiful telling of what followed...

Squeamish, like me?

2011-09-13T05:59:00.000-07:00

If you're squeamish, like me, and can't really stomach some of the world's atrocities---but are convinced that they matter to God---please see my post today at Red Letter Christians...

Compelling...Disturbing...

2011-08-25T06:33:00.000-07:00

This woman swears off looking in mirrors for a whole year--the year, in fact, she gets married! Find out why, here!

Also: In a book targeted at 4-8 year olds, this teenager, also holding a girly dress up to a mirror, decides to go on a diet! More HERE

We live in a very nutty world, people. The advice of UNC's Cynthia Bulik--to avoid dieting language--just makes SO much sense.

Jump on in with your thoughts...

Who Are Today's Notorious Sinners?

2011-08-23T11:05:00.000-07:00

In the gospels, the "identified sinners" are often tax-collectors and prostitutes. I am just itchy to know who today's "sinners" are? Who gives church-folk the willies today? (Dealers? Pimps? Convicted sex offenders?)

Below, leave a comment about who you think today's sinners are...

In advance, thank you.

Richard Foster's Genius on Buying Clothes

2011-08-18T08:22:00.000-07:00

1978 genius from Richard Foster...

"Consider your clothes. Most people have no need for more clothes. They buy more not because they need clothes, but because they want to keep up with the fashions. Hang the fashions! Buy what you need. Wear your clothes until they are worn out. Stop trying to impress people with your clothes and impress them with your life. If it is practical in your situation, learn the joy of making clothes. And for God's sake (and I mean that quite literally) have clothes that are practical rather than ornamental. John Wesley writes, 'As ... for apparel, I buy the most lasting and, in general, the plainest I can. I buy no furniture but what is necessary and cheap.'"

-Celebration of Discipline, p. 90

He's just RIGHT, people.

Missional Parenting?

2011-08-16T05:30:00.000-07:00

When my kiddos were smaller, I remember feeling a little desperate that there were days when, from sunup to sundown, I did little more than keep them alive and entertained. For the most part our lives were, by default, antithetical to "mission."

Now that they can dress, feed and bathe themselves, a world of possibilities has opened up in front of us. They can babysit for weary mothers, they can make lasagna for teachers who aren't weary yet but will be soon, they can build a pen-pal relationship with a peer in India.

Parents of wee ones, talk to me. Am I remembering correctly that life in the early years really is about just trying to stay afloat, or am I a lightweight?

Chime in...

Photoshop, Patriarchy and Protection of the Vulnerable

2011-08-03T08:06:00.000-07:00

Check out my post at Her.meneutics today!

Supercute Toilet Plungers, Icky Self-Promotion and Doing What Must Be Done

2011-07-30T11:01:00.000-07:00

[Note: this post is for writerly/speakerly friends. Peek behind the curtain, if you wish.]

Self-promotion? Ick! Marketing? Ick! Sales? Double-Ick!

During the five years before I began writing in earnest, I:

a. Sewed and sold winter hats

b. Painted, printed and sold greeting cards

c. Created videos from people’s photos

d. Made and sold beaded badge lanyards

e. Marketed and sold puppets

f. Created and sold car magnets

g. Painted and sold really cute toilet plungers

I’m sure I pimped myself out in many other ways I don’t even remember. Had any one of those ventures been even remotely successful, I may not have returned to my love of writing when I did.

Thankfully, they all failed.

They didn’t fail because I didn’t have good products. Breadbox greeting cards’ “Walk With the Lord” line, featuring funky shoes, were going to be as big as Life is Good. In my mind. They failed because I had no idea how to market and sell.

Today, as a writer and speaker, I find myself needing to market, promote and sell once again. Though I’m still chronically sales-averse, I have found a few fun ways to promote. I can share a few things I’ve tried that have been less painful, and less expensive, than trying to woo people over to my booth at a holiday bazaar…

1. Book Club Evening in Your Home or Church

Friends invite their friends over for wine & cheese. I read from my book and at the end I’ll have books on sale.

2. Make a Video

I filmed a fun rap video (as Lady Gogo!) related to my book Unsqueezed: Springing Free From Skinny Jeans, Nose Jobs, Highlights and Stilettos. (More hits online than any video of me “speaking.” Hmmm…)

3. Easy Social Media Opps

The hard part was writing the thoughtful blog post for Hermeneutics . The easy part was posting the link on facebook and Twitter.

4. Quarterly Newsletter

I capture emails on my website and send something out just 4x a year, so as not to annoy. #1 rule: Content has value for the listener.

5. Need a speaker?

I’ll come to your local MOPs group!

6. Contest

In the quarterly email: when you buy X, forward your receipt and I enter you into a drawing for a free Y.

7. Email Signature Line

Next book is always in the signature of emails: My new book is available for pre-order at a crazy discount: Small Things With Great Love: Adventures in Loving Your Neighbor.

8. Make Friends (aka “networking”)

When I read something I enjoy, I type the author’s email into facebook. I send them a quickie note about why I liked their work & “friend” them as well. Note: these are sincere.

9. Piggyback

If I know I’ll be speaking someplace, I might get in touch with a local church or friend or school that might also need a speaker. (And save $ on travel, too!)

10. Vlogging

I have a quickie question I ask folks, and they answer for about 1 minute while I film with my pocket-size flipcam. These get posted to social media and it’s one more happy day I don’t have to write a blog post.

Fun? Sometimes. Ick? Absolutely. I do it all, though, for the privilege of continuing to write. So I’m not complaining.

Everything I Need to Know, I Learned in Kindergarten

2011-07-22T06:11:00.000-07:00

My boys went back to school on Wednesday.

First photo is Abhi (far left) at Vacation Bible School, in June, and second picture (Cubs hat) is Rollie at school on Wednesday. It's such a fantastic school, that the discrepancy between summer-fun and school-fun is very blurry for my boys.

One of the documents that came home from school this week is "All School Recess: A Practical Guide."

I know what you're thinking: recess shouldn't need instructions. Thankfully, the guide is not that. Rather, it outlines expectations for safe behavior, good sportsmanship, etc.

I was particularly drawn to page 6: Talk It Out! I knew immediately that any strategy for conflict resolution was something I needed to peruse.

I'll end the suspense...

Both parties need to agree to:
Talk out the problem
Speak one at a time
Be honest
No put downs

1. Each person takes turns telling what happened, ask why it happened, and tells how they feel.
2. Each person restates what the other person said (and the other person confirms or corrects what they said.)
3. Both people think of ways to solve the problem and agree on how to do it.
4. Practice doing what you agreed to do and then let someone else know how it went (a parent, teacher, the Director or Assistant Director, the school counselor...)

I feel like this has so much possibility for my parenting. Marriage. Friendships. And possibly Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton. : )

Vacational Philosophy

2011-07-12T10:08:00.001-07:00

I'm at the beach, people, wondering about a Christian approach to leisure.

Rules of vaca say, "You deserve a break today.". Last time I checked, though, that was McDonalds and not Jesus.

I'm not anti-pleasure, but I just find myself tempted to suspend some of the principles by which I usually try to live--around spending, eating, self-absorption--simply because I am in a beautiful location with my family.

Talk to me, people: what does Christianee vacation look like? Oxymoronic?

58...Get on Board...

2011-07-02T19:28:00.001-07:00

Blog Friends,
One of the MANY things I like about 58 is that it invites you to choose a fast, to tweak the way you're living, to participate in what God is doing in the world. This is a win, people.

I Really Hate These Hallmark Holidays

2011-06-16T21:22:00.000-07:00

I am not a fan of the Hallmark holidays, people.

These are the ones invented by retailers to guilt me into buying stuff. I'm thinking about Mother's Day and Father's Day, though these retail celebrations can also coincide with actual liturgical holy days. They are why annually, against my better judgment, I buy jelly beans and Christmas stocking candy and on one particularly bad year, a Buzz Lightyear costume from the actual Disney store.

Every year I intend to muster the courage not to bow to pressures to overspend. All my resolve really means is that instead of thinking ahead to spend four bucks on a card I can mail six or seven days before the actual holiday, I do nothing and then, panicked, spend $89 online--the day before--to send some pricey steaks or a Lemonhead gift basket.

I tell you I'm a mess, people.

While there are now not nearly enough days to go the route of the sensible overpriced card, I've begun pre-planning Father's Day alternatives for next year...

1. Write down one thing for which I'm grateful about my dad and send it to him.
2. Tell my husband why I think he's a great dad.
3. Write a note to the dads who aren't my own who have made an impact on me.
4. Surprise-visit my grandfather who is, hands down, the greatest man who ever lived.
5. Pray for the orphans in the world that God loves deeply.
6. Tell a father-to-be, who's expecting his first kiddo, how much his presence in the home will matter to his child.
7. Send my husband out on a daddy-daughter date with my daughter. And son. And other son. Three consecutive dates.
8. Coerce my children into gluing macaroni on construction paper so I have something to send to my dad and step-dads.
9. Sponsor a child who's been orphaned through Compassion International.
10. Thank the father of Jesus for loving me even though I'm a total mess and may do none of these sensible things.

Whatever Father's day may drum up in your own life--and however you honor or dishonor the day--know that there is One whose love never fails.

Psalm 27:10

We love you, Miss Vir-GINA!!!

2011-06-13T13:51:00.000-07:00

Visit MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) online to check out my little article on building community WHEREVER you live... HERE

There's Two Ways to Look at LBS (Lazy Blogger Syndrome)...

2011-06-11T08:05:00.000-07:00

1 way to look at these lazy bloggers who post sporadically is to think, "LAZY BLOGGER! She's probably at home eating bonbons and watching soap operas."

That's one way to look at it.

The OTHER way--the one I find far more generous--is to think, "What fabulous thing does THAT blogger have going on in her/his REAL LIFE that keeps her/him from posting?!??!"

So says the lazy blogger.

This past week was Duke Center for Reconciliation's Summer Institute, featuring fabulous visitors like John Perkins, Kathy Kelly & others. I want to share one little nugget from my time there with you:

HERE

Check it out.

Umm...Hooray...

2011-06-02T06:21:00.000-07:00

The Girl in the Orange Dress has been nominated for AWSA's (Advanced Writers and Speakers Association) nonfiction book of the year! So hooray for that.

Beating a Beautiful Dead Horse...

2011-05-31T10:00:00.000-07:00

For a lot of us, this whole business about beauty & body image can feel like beating a dead horse.

"We GET it! We GET it, already!"

Do we? Because women and girls are still suffering at the hands of advertisers, we need to stick with it.

Here's why...

A Different Kind of What Not to Wear...

2011-05-27T05:43:00.000-07:00

My friend, Jennifer, sent me this clip. I have to believe that Trinny & Susannah have to be a little like the "What Not to Wear" Stacy & Clinton...

Why didn't I know about this woman until now?!

2011-05-23T08:22:00.000-07:00

Rosie Molinary writes on her blog, "What are the right words to use when you fundamentally believe it’s absolutely inappropriate to mention anyone’s body size- no matter how you are mentioning it- and someone has just mentioned your body size to you in a way that she thinks will make you happy?"

I haven't read Rosie Molinary's book, Hijas Americans, but this blog post, on body size, really makes me want to...

It is RADICAL people...

2011-05-20T05:52:00.001-07:00

“If you’re a Christian and support killing your enemies and torture, you have to come up with a new name for yourself . . . Capping thine enemy is not exactly what Jesus would do — it’s what Suge Knight would do . . . Martin Luther King gets to call himself a Christian because he actually practiced loving his enemies . . ." --Bill Maher.

The Gospel According to Chubby

2011-05-19T05:50:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago I read "The Gospel According to Chubby" and yesterday Constance, Paige and I had a chance to talk to author Jeremy Rochford. I hope the awesome title makes you curious enough to investigate: catch the chat here & subscribe to the True Sisterhood podcast.

2 links...

2011-05-11T10:12:00.000-07:00

If you watched the video clip of Johnny Knoxville & Eddie Barnabell 2 posts below, you might have continued to think about the "r-word."

1. I wrote about an r-word discussion with friends at Reality Ministries on Amy Julia Becker's blog today!

2. A parent at Reality sent this fabulous link@ Fighting Monsters With Rubber Bands. (prepare to be infuriated)

Colbert on Shame-ovation...

2011-05-09T05:59:00.000-07:00

Steven Colbert could not let a new product--to improve the appearance of women's underarms--go unmocked. Teaser quotes below, then full video. Enjoy...

“With Unilever’s help, women have now learned that their armpits are hideous.”

“If you take the time to invent a new thing for women to feel insecure about, then sell them the solution, you’ve cornered the market.”

“God hates women. If he didn’t hate them, why did he give them so many problem areas?”

“If there’s one sure way to financial security, it’s inventing women’s insecurities.”

The Colbert Report

Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c

The Word - Buy and Cellulite

www.colbertnation.com

Colbert Report Full Episodes

Political Humor & Satire Blog

Video Archive

What other shame-ovations are we being sold today?!?! Comment below...

The R-Word

2011-05-03T07:19:00.000-07:00

Even if you don't use the "r" word--which I actually assume that anyone who reads my blog does NOT--you still need to find language to help raise awareness among others. It's worth a minute to listen to Johnny & Eddie...

Get on board and spread the word at Spread the Word to End the Word.

Things Are Not As They Appear

2011-04-27T08:17:00.000-07:00

My son and I were walking around Duke's East Campus a few days ago, sort of picking up trash. We're collecting plastic lids, as above, to use as Backgammon pieces & to use as tokens for flicking games we'll make up on the dining room table. We really want THAT trash, but we'll pick up anything nearby, too. We've harvested a beautiful RAINBOW of colors so far! We've also rifled through our neighbors' recycling buckets. (Later decided that was weird & intrusive. Sorry neighbors.)

I explained to him while we were walking at Duke,

"If I'm holding just ONE beer can, it kind of looks like I've been imbibing while doing cardio. If I'm carrying a bunch, it looks more like trash."

So, that's a little funny. But true.

Today it got worse.

I glanced down to see a plastic lid on the ground, and I mused, "I don't need another ORANGE lid."

Literally, "If that trash were a different color I might consider bending over and picking it up, to preserve a clean environment, but I don't feel like picking up that COLOR of trash today."

That is REALLY funny, right? Sad funny, I mean.

Even our best-est intentions, and our sort-of-okay ones, are tainted. Mine, anyway.

Cosmetic Surgery Booming in China

2011-04-25T06:21:00.000-07:00

China now estimated to rank 3rd, behind U.S. & Brazil, in cosmetic surgery procedures...

Read more here in the New York Times

Heartbreaking.

Low on Melanin: Just When You Thought Race Prejudice Couldn't Get Any Nuttier

2011-04-20T07:48:00.000-07:00

Enjoy this moving story about Jean Paul, from Compassion International...

The very minute Jean Paul was born, his father disowned him. “Don’t bring that “thing” to my home,” he instructed his wife.

Jean Paul didn’t look like the other babies in the Rwandan village. He was an albino. And in Rwanda, that usually means one of two things. You’re an outcast. Or you’re killed.

In East Africa, a child who is born with albinism is considered cursed. But an albino’s body parts are worth thousands of dollars to witch doctors, who use them in special potions that many superstitious Africans believe will bring them good fortune.

Although Jean Paul’s father didn’t kill his son, he did ridicule and neglect him. “My family was afraid of me,” said Jean. “No one would come close to me. I used to spend the whole day outside and in the night they would collect me like they did the saucepans and basins.”

When Jean was 6, his father’s heart finally began to soften toward him. But later that same year, his father was murdered in the Rwandan genocide.

Then Jean enrolled in Compassion’s program, and he at last came to know the healing love of Jesus Christ.

Jean worked diligently through school and became a worship leader at his church. Because of his dedication, he was accepted into Compassion’s Leadership Development Program. Now he is studying psychology at the University of Rwanda. “After I am done with this, I shall be an advocate for people for all skin colors,” Jean says.

Margot adds...

Visit Compassion today to release a child from poverty in Jesus' name.

If you don't know what Spanx are, prepare for some crazy...

2011-04-18T11:59:00.000-07:00

Women have been squeezing our sags in for awhile, and Spanx for men is now a retail hit!

For those in the dark, women are wearing something like a scuba-suit underneath our garments to disguise bulges. All the same stuff is under there, but it's been rearranged & flattened out a little bit. Women, and now men, are paying big bucks for stretchy fabric to give others the appearance that we are not as squishy as we really are.

It just makes me want to get my squish on.

Okay, now that I said that weird thing, I mean it. Because I'm not immune to wanting others to think well of my flesh--and I even changed clothes before CHURCH to appear less bumpy-- I'm sure I do other stuff besides the Spanx. I think that these beasts are best battled by non-violent resistance.

I am EMPOWERED to not buy into the madness by choosing FOR the natural bumps and AGAINST spending money to pacify the eyes of others who don't want to look at my squish.

Deal with it.

(For Christian readers: You can see how this is a matter of discipleship, don't you? I try to be a little implicit here on the blog, but I can't take the risk of you missing the faith implications today. We are using the resources God has entrusted to us--to build the kingdom--so that others won't notice our bulges. This is madness, people.)

Beautifully Obese

2011-04-16T07:19:00.000-07:00

I'm interested to hear what you think about her.meneutics' post OBESE AND BEAUTIFUL!

Author Marlena Graves makes some great points. I have a lingering reservation, but I don't want to spoil your first reading...

Hear what young black women are saying about skin color..

2011-04-04T09:45:00.000-07:00

Gorgeous New Cover

2011-03-30T20:37:00.000-07:00

People, I've just got to share the yummy cover of my next book, from the talented Cindy Kiple at InterVarsity Press...

Beauty has its benefits...

2011-03-29T20:23:00.000-07:00

Like it or not, beauty comes with perks:

http://yourlife.usatoday.com/your-look/story/2011/03/Study-Beautiful-people-cash-in-on-their-looks/45500558/1

We have a winner!

2011-03-25T05:22:00.000-07:00

Monday I announced a drawing for a brand spankin' new CEB BIBLE! (Learn more about this fresh new translation, HERE)
And the winner is...(drumroll)...BEV! Holly's mom! (trumpets, confetti, balloons, bubbles...) Congratulations, Bev!*
*At right, visit my site & click "contact" to email my office your address!!!

Dressing Like a Prostitute...A No Photo Post

2011-03-24T14:04:00.000-07:00

[NO PHOTO POSTED, BECAUSE I HAVE NO INTEREST IN POSTING A PHOTO OF AN UNDERDRESSED TEEN]

Great article in the Wall Street Journal exploring the ways that today's mothers--possibly regretful about our own sexual pasts?--are allowing (and encouraging) our daughters to dress like prostitutes.

READ IT HERE...

I Love You Because You’re Not Too Sexy

2011-03-21T03:42:00.000-07:00

THIS WEEK ONLY: LEAVE YOUR NAME IN THE COMMENTS SECTION OF THIS POST AND WE'LL DRAW ONE NAME TO RECEIVE A COPY OF THE NEW

CEB TRANSLATION BIBLE! [Winner posted here Friday!]
Learn more about CEB's cool Lenten blog tour here: http://www.lentenblogtour.com !

Last week a guy friend and I were discussing a colleague when he had made mention of how “hot” she was. (No, no, he’s not a 9^th grader—he really is man aged.) He wondered aloud if she just might not have stumbled upon success in her field based on the sexiness factor alone. (Note: Because she is not involved in the adult entertainment industry, hotness is not at all requisite for the professional work she does. This, in my opinion, made it a little weird for him to mention.)

Though I was willing to ignore the “hot” comment as if I hadn’t heard it, he actually continued, “That’s why I love you...”

Fer reals.

He seriously kept going, noting, “You’re attractive and interesting to look at without being too…commercially well-coiffed.”

This interaction really happened.

Though I know my friend fancies himself somewhat of a player with the ladies, I’m not clear how he could not know:

1. Never tell a woman you love her because she’s not hot and sexy. Just say you love her and then stop speaking.

2. Only tell a woman she’s “interesting to look at” if her body covered in fascinating tattoos or she’s a circus clown. Otherwise, as per number one, zip it.

Though the fact that a man I respect had just told me that I was neither sexy nor well-groomed didn’t entirely unglue me, I’ll be honest and say it did sting a little. Because although my Teflon tie-dyed exterior—and a 220 page book on body image—insist that these aren’t values which I prioritize, it is my natural human preference to be considered attractive. Smart. Clever. Classy. Even minimally well-groomed. Basically, I would prefer to be held in high esteem in any number of arenas.

I guess think this is why I find it particularly funny the way that God does business. Paul, writing to the Corinthians, reminded them,

“Look at your situation when you were called, brothers and sisters! By ordinary human standards not many were wise, not many were powerful, not many were from the upper class.” (1 Corinthians 1:26, CEB.)

I know exactly how these folks felt when they heard this. Paul forgot to add “you weren’t hot,” but I’ll bet he was thinking it. Paul continues to elaborate the Almighty’s nutty priorities,

“But God chose what the world considers foolish to shame the wise. God chose what the world considers weak to shame the strong. And God chose what the world considers low-class and low-life—what is considered to be nothing—to reduce what is considered to be something to nothing. (I Cor. 1:27-28, CEB)

Isn't "low-life"...colorful?!? Now, if Paul shared the world’s values, this part would still sort of be a slap in the face. But, Paul is pretty clear that being chosen by God trumps all the other stuff we value.

Paul concludes, “So no human being can brag in God’s presence. It is because of God that you are in Christ Jesus. He became wisdom from God for us. This means that he made us righteous and holy, and he delivered us. This is consistent with what was written: The one who brags should brag in the Lord!” (I Cor. 1:29-31, CEB)

Paul's exhortation is what transforms the occasional bucket-o'-cold-water in the face remark by reminding me that the upside-down kingdom Jesus ushered in has turned the world's valuing of individuals on its head.

Thanks be to God.

Triggers

2011-03-19T11:35:00.000-07:00

I’d heard Constance, who specializes in disordered eating, and others use the word “trigger” in reference to body issues like binging and purging and cutting. So I asked her just exactly what these frequently referenced “triggers” were in the recovery community. I understood the general idea, but I wasn’t clear on what, specifically, were dangerous triggers for those who struggle with some of these issues.

Triggers, Constance explained, can be pictures or descriptions or judgments that might stimulate, in another, an unhealthy behavior. For instance, if a platform speaker were to share a “fat” picture of herself, which wasn’t really very fat at all, it could trigger someone else’s shame issues. Or someone’s description of her own binge, Constance explained, might trigger a binge cycle in someone else. (Because the moment she said it, I began perseverating on Double Stuff Oreos, I completely understood what she meant.) Constance also explained that some of the books written to help those suffering from eating disorders might feature the image of a thin anorexic woman on the cover. Regardless of the value of their content, Constance refuses to endorse any of these books because the cover itself can stimulate, in sufferers, dangerous behaviors. Though there’s certainly no way to tiptoe around every mention or image that might ignite the weakness of another, sensitivity in certain situations is prudent.

Suddenly all my failed small business ventures--beads on a string, t-shirts, cards, hats, videos, puppets--flashed before my eyes. All it takes for me to launch one of these losers is for someone to make a kind compliment about something I've created. 10 minutes later I've bought the domain name and designed the business cards.

Besides sending me to my Oreo happy place, Constance had unwittingly identified what happens inside me, at the drop of an accidental compliment. Though, because Constance is the kind of friend who has xray vision into my heart, it would not surprise me to learn that she’d done it super-wittingly.

Experiments in Discipleship: Watery Lent

2011-03-14T05:53:00.000-07:00

It's Day 6 of the "drink only water" Lenten experiment, inspired by Blood Water Mission.

I'm not missing coffee, since I don't touch the stuff.
I'm not missing alcohol, since I'm not a big drinker.
I'm not missing iced tea or hot tea or V8 juice or KoolAid.

~I mentioned that I really wanted a big glass of milk with my PBJ.
~In the mornings I miss a small shot of OJ that gives a pleasing sugar rush. (I never realized this, of course, until I refused that happy sensation.)
~While splurging at a restaurant on Saturday night, I would have loved to sip a tasty soda.

More often, I just drink from my unlimited supply of potable water, notice my utter dependence upon a Good Provider, and think about people without access to safe clean drinking water.

So, I think it's working...

Experiments in Discipleship: The Weird Milk Funnel

2011-03-10T09:27:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, at the Red Letter Christians Blog, Tony Campolo introduced a new Lenten discipline, inspired by Blood Water Mission.

For the 40 days of Lent, preceding Easter, Blood Water Mission is inviting folks to practice 40 Days of Water. Replace your soda, coffee and wine (seriously, people) with water & channel your savings to provide clean drinking water for friends in Africa.

As soon as I read Tony's post, yesterday, I began. As is so often the way with my spiritual practices, not sixteen hours have passed and I just poured myself a cold glass of milk to eat with a totally yummy PBJ. Before I sipped, though, I remembered the Blood Water Mission challenge.

Urgh.

Because I couldn't find a funnel (and I can only assume I've got it hooked up to some craft project around the house) I created a semi-funnel, above, using bent plastic, to pour my milk back into the jug.

It works, people. It does.

So consider yourself entirely equipped to forego a little luxury this Lent.

DONATE HERE to Blood Water Mission, and check out their shortie video, below.

Forty Days of Water from Blood:Water Mission on Vimeo.

Things That Make Me Go "Really?" #192: Happy Ash Wednesday

2011-03-09T07:27:00.000-08:00

For the less liturgical readers out there in blogland, today is Ash Wednesday. The day marks the 40 days (excluding Sundays) leading up to Easter. It's a day of repentance and begins a season of fasting. Reminded of our mortality, we remember our need for the salvific work of Jesus.

Weirdly, in the Republic of Ireland, it is also "No Smoking" day. (Note: This is not "ash" related, but rather is about giving up luxury for a period.)

While walking with a friend around Duke's East Campus, I saw a dapper fellow dressed as though he'd just come from church. He had a big black mass of ashes spread across his forehead. Wanting to recognize him, as I like to do with most pedestrians, I raised my hand in a vigorous wave and shouted, "HAPPY ASH WEDNESDAY!!!!"

Really?

More on Cover Girl Culture...

2011-03-05T20:38:00.000-08:00

Interested in the bodies of purposefully thin women and underprivileged ones?
Check out Cover Girl Culture Video, below, and then read my post at Red Letter Christians...

Cover Girl Culture

2011-03-01T06:07:00.000-08:00

If you peek at this video, I'd be interested to hear your reaction to this comment posted beneath it at YouTube...

I do get tired with rich western women complaining that they are being forced to be thin. If you don't like it, don't buy the magazines. It sure as hell isn't men who find skinny titless bandy legged freaks with stringy necks attractive.

So blame yourselves and shut up. There are real women really going hungry in this world whist spoiled vain witches like these complain about starving themselves out of peurile childish anal vanity.

This week in MargotLand...

2011-02-25T05:34:00.000-08:00

1. VANITY
Had to "approve" photos from the shoot (above), and was disappointed how much I cared about looking good.

2. INSPIRATION
Overheard, from two amazing women I admire, "We're trying to break in to the maximum security prison..." (And this is EXACTLY why I love them!)

3. FER REALS
Year of getting rid of 2011 actual* things moment...
As my kids opened a big package of stuff from their Grandmommy, they pulled out--for me--Oprah's "declutter your house" issue. While it was VERY thoughtful of my mom to send it, my first thought was, "That is going straight in the garbage."

This is whuzzup in MargotLand.

*Note: Some people think this means items from my 2011 New Year's Eve party. No, it actually means over two-thousand non-themed ITEMS.

"Does She Have Light Skin?"

2011-02-22T07:56:00.000-08:00

It was a Sunday morning and I had taken one of my children along with me to a church where I would be preaching. My offspring was four or five years old at the time. As we drove in the car, I explained that while I was preaching, a nice lady named Miss Charlotte would join my child in the pew to help with crayons and paper and toys.

“Does Miss Charlotte have dark skin?” my child asked. I heard an edge of anxiety in the voice of my little one.

The person my child was picturing, I realized, was my friend Charlotte that she’d met a few times. Charlotte is African-American.

“No, we’re not going to that ‘Miss Charlotte’s’ church today. This is a different Miss Charlotte.”

From the car seat came, “Does she have light skin?”

“Yes, she does,” I confirmed.

“Okay,” the voice behind me agreed, with discernible relief. My child was relieved to be cared for by someone with light skin and not dark skin.

Because my child’s exposure to the world was, at that age, almost entirely mediated by me, I began to fear I had somehow unwittingly generated this anxiety about difference in my child. Though I wanted to believe that the media was to blame, in my deepest places I feared that somehow, unconsciously, I, or my community, had communicated to my child that difference—in this case racial difference—was to be feared.

What children and adults believe in our deepest places is that difference is threatening. The origins of this anxiety can’t be neatly parsed. We were born with an instinct, that’s been reinforced by our culture, that those who look different and think differently and behave differently are, in some way, threatening. Though many of us are too sophisticated to admit it, we still feel far more comfortable sitting on our couches watching decidedly different others on a flat screen than we would be chatting face to face over coffee. We’re moved, and unmoved, by this fear of difference.

Talk to me, people. Push back. Tell me where we get this thing...

Adopted Girl Found Dead in Truck, I May Be At Fault

2011-02-18T07:44:00.000-08:00

Above: me, in my awesome foster home

As an adopted person and adoptive mother, I pay attention when adoption hits the news.

Early this week authorities in West Palm Beach Florida found Jorge Barahona and his adopted son unconscious in Barahona’s truck. The ten-year-old boy, drugged into unconsciousness, was covered in chemicals. The dead body of his twin sister, Nubia, was also found in the truck.

Read more at Red Letter Christians...

Daily Affirmations for a Healthy Self-Image

2011-02-16T19:10:00.001-08:00

Things That Make Me Go "Really?" #491: Baby Skinny Jeans

2011-02-14T08:18:00.000-08:00

Sad message today from a friend...

just saw a tweet that Baby Gap is now selling skinny jeans

REALLY?!?!

Help Me Out, People: Beauty Tips?

2011-02-12T06:45:00.000-08:00

I thought I was the only person who knew about Beauty Tips For Ministers. (I had sort of just kept hte knowledge to myself.) Yesterday, though, saw a respected friend mention it on facebook. When she asked me my 2 cents, I said...

"I find it hard to justify putting so much energy into how we APPEAR to others. Cuz that's really what beauty tips is about. I think body tips for ministers would be: stretch out your hands to the poor, stand up for the needy, move your lips to speak up for those without a voice."

What's your take on how much energy female pastors (or male!) ought to put into appearance?

*I WELCOME you to have an opinion other than mine, cuz I'm really curious...

Jesus' Friends on the World's Margins

2011-02-11T19:18:00.000-08:00

This thing about imitating Jesus' friendship with those on the margins has really captured me these days.

The "F" Word & The Friendly Skies

2011-02-10T07:19:00.000-08:00

Kevin Smith

The seats on these airplanes get narrower every year.

As I squeezed into seat 21C, for the fifty minute flight from Atlanta to Raleigh, I noticed that the three seats in front of mine were also occupied with larger adults. The gentleman next to the window held onto the seat in front of him the entire flight, possibly to ensure that he didn’t relax and flow over into the center seat. Another, on the aisle, pulled his shoulders in toward his ears, as if attempting to take up less space. Me? I just got lucky and had an empty seat next to me.

The scene brought to mind last year’s debacle on Southwest Airlines when overweight passenger Kevin Smith was asked to leave the plane. Imagine my surprise to find Smith speaking, probably DURING my flight, to Joy Behar on HLN. Since the Southwest incident last year, Smith has lost 65 pounds.

Behar asks, "Why don’t you show your fabulous abs now that you’ve lost the weight?"

Smith answers, "Cuz, I feel mixed feelings about losing the weight."

And there it is.

It's this weird thing. Queen Latifah used to speak out about being big & proud, but then became a spokesperson for Jenny Craig. Kevin Smith was OUTRAGED (rightly, I believe) about getting kicked off a plane, and then dropped 65 pounds. And while he used the word "fat" to describe himself in his own tweets, he was a little ticked off when other media outlets described him that way.

There's a lot of WEIGHT (lame pun acknowledged) to the word "fat." Unlike other descriptors--tall, short, green, fuzzy--there is often another layer of meaning associated with "fat."

Sometimes the meaning is "worth less." Just as there are racists, and agists, there is a temptation in our culture to view those who are fat as "worth less" than other folks. I admit that I avoid using the word for that very reason.

How do you use the "f" word?

Red Letter Christian Post...

2011-02-05T18:38:00.001-08:00

Check out my new post at Red Letter Christians...

Why (in my mind) I'm Renting Clothes...

2011-01-28T11:00:00.000-08:00

I’m on my way to Nashville to spend time with three friends this weekend. (These are physically small friends, which is going to make more sense as the story unfolds.) As I’m making the chilly (shortee) walk between the parking deck at Raleigh-Durham airport and the airport I realize that it is icy cold outside. And that I have no jacket. Though I want to believe that somehow it will be tropical just due west of where I live, I remember that Nashville had a kids-out-of-school-due-to-snow day this week.

Brrrrr…..

As I’m thinking about it, I already feel germs penetrating the inner membranes of my nose that have just been weakened (in my mind) by the cold weather in the parking deck. Since I can’t borrow something to wear from my tiny friends, I begin deciding where I will purchase a jacket or sweatshirt or parka or poncho. This is just before I remember I’m not buying clothes this year. Even though this is totally a medical emergency.

In my mind.

In the airport gift shop, where I’m hunting around for breakfast, a conspicuous sign advertizes cozy fleece jackets have been marked down to $19.99. Operating under the “medical emergency policy” I peek to see if one might be my size. One is. But, of course, I’m torn.

What suddenly makes the most sense, in that moment, is to buy a sweatshirt, wear it for two days, and then find a new owner for a gently worn sweatshirt. I like the plan & buy the fleece. I thought it was a pretty good plan.

Now that I’m cozy on the airplane, I realize that option 2—the single option for most of the world’s population—is…STAY COLD.

It never once occurred to me.

Letting Go of 2011 Things in 2011

2011-01-25T06:02:00.000-08:00

Some things you do because you can’t not do them.

Attempting to get rid of 2011 things in 2011 is, apparently, one of them.

Completely ridiculous, right?! I know, I know. And yet today I received a facebook message from someone who had to identify herself as someone who’s written me a nice note, about Unsqueezed, earlier in the year. This was the extent of our relationship. At the beginning of this year—inspired by the guy who wrote the book about whittling down to owning just 100 things—Kelly created & took this weird plunge. Now she’s invited me to join her.

I’m going to be honest and say that I cannot yet wrap my mind around 2011 things.

The closest I’ve come is 100 things. Sometimes when I clean my kitchen I make up my mind that I’m going to speedy-quick put 100 things away. By the time I’ve unloaded the silverware and dishes from the cram-packed dishwasher and filled it with the sky-high stack of dirty dishes from the sink, I’m more than halfway there. So I can imagine 100 things.

I can’t, for the life of me, imagine 2001 things.

The only reason I’m willing to put the number “2011” in print is because my cyber-friend, Kelly, is so certain that she can get rid of 2011 things. You see, Kelly claims she’s already quite the minimalist. She says she doesn’t have knick knacks, and there are actually empty shelves and closets in her home. Empty! So my thinking goes that if Kelly can do it, I can do it. Since I’m sort of the cluttery opposite of minimalist.

My hopes for the year…

1. By working to march so much stuff out of my house, I’ll be a lot more thoughtful about the amount of stuff I march through the front door into my house.

2. My heart and mind will be released from their addiction to consumption.

3. I'll be freed up to live some more Jesus-love in the world.

This is my hope.

Getting Rid of 2011 Things in 2011! What, what?!?

2011-01-25T05:32:00.001-08:00

Some things you do because you can’t not do them.

Attempting to get rid of 2011 things in 2011 is, apparently, one of them.

Completely ridiculous, right?! I know, I know. And yet today I received a facebook message from someone who had to identify herself as someone who’d written me a nice note, about Unsqueezed, earlier in the year. This was the extent of our relationship. At the beginning of this year—inspired by the guy who wrote the book about whittling down to owning just 100 things—Kelly created & took this weird plunge. Now she’s invited me to join her.

I’m going to be honest and say that I cannot yet wrap my mind around 2011 things.

I can’t, for the life of me, imagine 2011 things.

The only reason I’m willing to put the number “2011” in print is because my cyber-friend, Kelly, is so certain that she can get rid of 2011 things. You see, Kelly claims she’s already quite the minimalist. She says she doesn’t have knick knacks, and there are actually empty shelves and closets in her home. Empty! So, if she's telling me the truth, my thinking goes that if Kelly can do it, I can do it. Since I’m sort of the cluttery opposite of minimalist.

My hopes for the year…

1. By working so stinkin' hard to march so much stuff out of my house, I’ll be a lot more thoughtful about the amount of stuff I march through the front door into my house.

2. My heart and mind will be released from their addiction to consumption.

3. I'll be freed up to live some more Jesus-love in the world.

This is my hope.

Redeeming "Girly"...

2011-01-24T13:00:00.000-08:00

In Mother Jones, Peggy Orenstein, the author of Cinderella Ate My Daughter makes the point that to give her daughter "boy" stuff [i.e. from Cars movie] instead of "girly" stuff [a la Disney] implies that"girl" stuff is inferior. Interesting!

An alternative she suggests reminds me of Andy Crouch's message about being creators of culture. (i.e. not consumers, copiers, critics, etc.) Orenstein says, "I think one of the challenges is to create an equally positive, joyful, fun, satisfying sense of femininity and feminine identity in a different way so that there are things you're saying yes to and satisfying that urge that your daughter has to be assert her girlness."

I'd love to hear how some of you are navigating this with your girls. Are you finding a beautiful empowering way for them to enjoy their God-given GIRLness? (If you're girl-free, we'd still love your thoughts...)

Find the interesting article HERE.

I'm a Mess

2011-01-21T06:02:00.000-08:00

NOTE, Today: Check out RLC blog & leave me a comment! : )

For over a year I have absolutely LOVED my friend Andrew's shirt, above. I mean REALLY loved it. And because I'm a creative sort, I thought I'd just create one online & have it printed.

Today, January 21 2011, was the day. As I was driving my boys to school, I was thinking it through. Because I want to wear it to an event soon, I was even prepared to pay for 7-day shipping. (I NEVER pop for speedy shipping.)

SERIOUSLY, MARGOT?!?!?!

If you read my blog yesterday, you'll remember that yesterday was Day 1 (DAY ONE!!!!) of "I'm Not Buying Clothes for One Year." And that yummy shirt, above, is clothes. Apparently I could not make it 24 hours without lusting after new clothes. (I'm like Drew Barrymore in "50 First Dates," too, waking up this morning & having to learn afresh the painful truth that I'm not buying clothes for a year.)

Urgh! As I so often remind us, I'm a mess.

Ashamed

2011-01-20T11:20:00.000-08:00

It's time, people. I'd hoped it wouldn't come to this, but it has.

Several years ago I went 1 year without buying clothes because...I didn't need clothes. Ideally I would have been transformed so much during those 12 months that when I broke the fast I'd choose for moderation. Ideally.

Ideally every one of us who calls ourselves Christians would use the resources we've been given on what we actually need. I am SO beyond need right now, stuck in a habit of buying what I do not need. Today, January 20, 2011, I'm in for ONE MORE YEAR. Ugh. I'm a mess.

I need some witnesses, so if you've read this far please leave a comment so that I KNOW that YOU KNOW.

Grateful for friends on the journey...Margot

In Celebration...

2011-01-15T19:40:00.000-08:00

Rape, Breast Cancer & Mental Retardation? NOT funny.

2011-01-11T07:29:00.000-08:00

Join me in signing a petition asking Etsy to remove rape and breast cancer congratulations, and also ones mocking mothers of special needs children.

It's easy. Use your voice.

VISIT CHANGE.ORG TO SIGN!

(Marring of image is mine)

True Confession #928: Another Weekend That's All About Us

2011-01-10T10:45:00.000-08:00

Photo, above--which clearly delights my boys--is emblematic of how my family, too often, spends "family time." Namely, we entertain ourselves.

As both a stand-up-comic wannabee, and a direct descendant of Vaudeville performers, I've got no axe to grind with "entertainment," per say. My problem is that when my family and I are granted precious "free" time, our first impulse is to pleasure ourselves with entertainment. Often this involves a digital screen, as above, but we can just as easily settle for chocolate milkshakes or buttery popcorn. Preferably, while sitting in front of a digital screen.

As one of two parents in the family, I take full responsibility for this situation. When it occurred to me yesterday, though, a Sunday afternoon, I had a hard time coming up with an "activity" that we could do together to be for others. Today, now that everyone's back to work and school, I'm thinking a little more clearly.

*We might have walked through our neighborhood with an eye to speak to our neighbors.
*We might have visited an older individual from our congregation who might be lonely.
*We might even have gone through all our "stuff" with an eye for how we might share some of it with those who actually need our stuff.

I would love to hear from YOU how you find ways--with your "free" time--to be FOR others...

Top 10 Craziest Body Image Moments...

2011-01-07T20:00:00.000-08:00

Leslie Goldman, at the Huffington Post, names the year's TOP 10 CRAZIEST BODY IMAGE MOMENTS!

Enjoy.

(Though the connection to living love is crystal clear in my mind, the idea here is to expose the ways in which we squander our time & energies on appearances, while neglecting living God's love in word and deed! More on this in UNSQUEEZED!)

Tweaking...

2011-01-06T06:45:00.000-08:00

See post below to peek at yesterday's "new" blog header: "purposing to live love in the world (which is sort of Jesus' big thing)".

Even as I posted it, I had this nagging sense that I might be overstepping my bounds to name "living love in the world" as Jesus' BIGGEE BIGGEST thing. Because there's also...salvation. : ) A reader named Glenda commented (see below) reminding me of this, which encouraged me to really wrestle with what I was wanting to communicate.

Today's header is new:

This one is meant to name, specifically, what I feel God has called me to be about.

The reasons I do care so much about God's love being lived out among the poor...

1. I think that hearts are softened to receive the gospel as individuals come to know that God cares intimately for their circumstances

2. In the recent past, this has been a weak area of the Church's ministry. Rich Stearns, President of World Vision, has a great book on this called THE HOLE IN OUR GOSPEL.

3. In Jesus' inaugural address, when he announces that he's come to bring good news to the poor and release to the captives, I hear that very literally. I'm convinced that Jesus's love (as teacher, healer, Savior) extends to the whole person.

This is what I'm thinking today.

New Blog Identity...

2011-01-05T13:43:00.000-08:00

Hi blog readers!

For the last month or so, I've grappled to name the core message that I want to be sharing with readers & other audiences.

-I'd like to steal Bart Campolo's, which is "love God, love people, nothing else matters"

-I'm also quite taken by EAPE's "inspiring and enabling followers of Jesus to live out God’s love for the poor and oppressed, in inner-city America and around the world."

The thing that God has put on my heart really is this thing about living out God's love for those who live on the world's margins.

Blog-wise, nothing's changed except the masthead. Stay tuned as we wrestle together with how to live love in the world...

Might Christians be "blessed" To Be a Blessing?

2011-01-04T13:52:00.000-08:00

I think God does care for orphans through our actual hands & feet...

Q4U...Who Do Christians Picket?

2011-01-03T11:38:00.000-08:00

I need your help to answer this weird questin: Who do Christians "Picket"?

For example, the Christian Right sort of has a reputation for picketing abortion clinics. What are the other people-groups that jump to mind when you think of "WHO CHRISTIANS PICKET"....?

Thanks, in advance.

Million Dollar Rooms

2011-01-01T19:11:00.000-08:00

When I walked into our den this afternoon, I found my eleven year old daughter lying across the mountain of laundry I’d dumped on the couch to fold, watching Million Dollar Rooms.

Million. Dollar. Rooms.

One was a game room, where sixteen people could play video games against eachother simultaneously.

One home featured an indoor pool onto which every room in the house opened.

One was a kitchen. It was a pretty fancy kitchen.

One had a room at the center of the home with a glass floor.

One was an outdoor pool deck that featured three kitchens.

One was a man cave filled with exotic automobiles.

In each segment, an owner proudly led cameras through each fancy room, pointing out each of its special features.

If you know me, you can imagine how this rubbed me the wrong way. I really felt very sick.

Here’s the twist: It is just too easy for me to judge and despise these folks, desperately wanting them to behave differently. The harder thing, my growing edge, is to know how to love them.

I’m open to suggestions…

Gospel Good News for the Rich (and by "rich", I mean ME)

2010-12-30T06:40:00.000-08:00

Click above to visit Red Letter Christians and check out my post today!

Salacious Sells

2010-12-29T12:48:00.000-08:00

The Top 10 Her.meneutics (Christianity Today's Blog for Women) Posts of 2010 would be interesting enough even if I didn't have a post that made the list.

It happens that I do. And it's about a strip club.

Enjoy the Top 10!

Though I'm no parenting genius...

2010-12-28T04:50:00.000-08:00

Though I'm no parenting genius--to which my children will gladly attest--an article I did for September MOPs magazine is online now. It's about parenting different children differently, even when the kids are your internal monologue are pressuring you to make everything even-steven.

Check it out: MOPS.

FIND 20 minutes to watch it again: The Story of Stuff

2010-12-27T03:56:00.000-08:00

Click the burdened shopper, above, to see the online video that is changing the way I consume.

If you've seen it before, have you changed the way you consume?

Eric Sheptock

2010-12-25T05:00:00.000-08:00

Eric Sheptock is a homeless advocate for the homeless, utilizing social media via public libraries.

AMANDLA!

More Creative Giving Ideas...

2010-12-25T04:54:00.000-08:00

Get creative, folks. These people did...

Twelve Ways

Last Minute Gift

2010-12-24T08:23:00.000-08:00

Don't go to a strip mall!

Instead, donate to Blood Water Mission to empower folks to effect change in their communities in Africa. BWM is doing some great work & would be blessed by your support.

The 12 Days of Christmas Campaign from Blood:Water Mission on Vimeo.

Danny Glover's New Shortie Film...

2010-12-21T10:26:00.000-08:00

Equipping people to see the other is what I'm hoping to achieve with my 3rd book. Danny Glover's done it in 6 minutes. Enjoy...

Gentle Warning

2010-12-20T08:03:00.000-08:00

For those of us who want to move through this Christmas season with fiscal and moral integrity, this can be a rough week. If you're anything like me, I'll get big ideas for fabulous gifts that my loved ones would enjoy for at least 7 minutes. Given a few free moments, I'll be tempted to dart into treacherous places like Toys-R-Us and Ross Dress for Less. I'll want to do these things because there's something about making purchases that feels good.

This week, join me in practicing non-consumptive resistance.

I've got a few little errands left, but they're for people who actually need stuff.

If your people don't need stuff this week, don't buy stuff. Let's practice resistance together.

If you need inspiration: visit Advent Conspiracy!

Truth in the Funniest Places, #697

2010-12-18T05:33:00.000-08:00

Warning: Lots of nonsense before final nugget of sanity. If you don't have the patience, read the sane text below video...

The Colbert Report

Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c

Jesus Is a Liberal Democrat

www.colbertnation.com

Colbert Report Full Episodes

Political Humor & Satire Blog

March to Keep Fear Alive

...“Because if this is gonna be a Christian nation that doesn’t help the poor, either we’ve got to pretend that Jesus was just as selfish as we are, or we’ve got to acknowledge that he commanded us to love the poor and serve the needy without condition…and then admit that we just don’t want to do it.”
[props to Matt Rhodes for the link]

People You Need to Know: Chris Heuertz

2010-12-17T04:53:00.000-08:00

On top of rocking some of the sweetest t-shirts, the goatee, and a pierced eyebrow, Chris Heuertz is one of the most thoughtful people I know about the dignity of the ones Jesus called "the least of these."

I think if Jesus had spent time around Chris, he might have used different language in referring to them.

I'm just sayin'.

Find out what I'm even talking about by reading Chris' article at the Washington Post today...

The True Cost of Protecting Human Dignity

Stories of Compassion: Alejandro & Other Amazing Kingdom Possibilities...

2010-12-16T05:09:00.000-08:00

As a boy, Alejandro had no dreams for his life. Having grown up in poverty in El Salvador, there was no reason for him to dream. The only road out of poverty that he could see was the gang life. When he was twelve, though, a woman at his church had a vision. In it, she saw Alejandro in a suit and tie. Though I don’t have stats on how many of these holy visions are eventually realized, I can say for sure that this one was pretty unlikely. Even Alejandro’s own parents doubted.

“In our situation,” they would say to him, “how would we see you in that?”

You really can’t fault them for being…in touch with reality.

In the Compassion International programs that Alejandro attended at his church, though, he received a different message. That’s where he heard, from women and men in the congregation, that God had created him for a purpose. When he received a sponsor, he knew that his life mattered to someone. As high school ended, his pastor encouraged him to apply for Compassion’s Leadership Development Program. Based on Alejandro’s grades, letters of recommendation, and face to face interviews, he was accepted into the program that supplies his university tuition and leadership training. The night he was accepted into the program, Alejandro remembered the woman’s vision which had been prophesied over him at age twelve. With wet tears on his cheeks and a broad smile, eighteen year old Alejandro shares, “My family has changed their tune!”

Alejandro’s response to being accepted into the program? He prayed, as never before, for his cousin—who’d been raised by a single mother—to receive the same scholarship. Upon finding out that his cousin, Nixon, had also been accepted into the program, Alejandro exclaimed, “What a great God!”

Today Alejandro is studying business administration, with aspirations to launch his own company of fresh juices. He is also leading a drama troupe which creates and executes performances that communicate to others the hope they have in Jesus Christ. Now that the younger children in Alejandro’s church, and Nixon’s church, can see what is possible, the young men are working together to develop a special event to motivate these younger ones to do well in school.

Amazing, right? It is one of many stories of lives being transformed through Compassion's ministry.

Right now, another student like Alejandro is waiting to be sponsored through Compassion’s Leadership Development Program. $300 per month allows a talented student to attend university and be developed as a leader. $300 can change the world.

If this is a financial possibility for you, email me.

Fashion Genius

2010-12-15T09:25:00.000-08:00

What good would it be to have a hair-shoe-discipleship blog and miss this exciting fashion innovation?

Veronika Scott, 21, has designed a coat, for homeless folks, that turns into a sleeping bag. Learn more about it at NPR.

1 Small Step: Dangerous Toys in Church Nurseries

2010-12-14T06:24:00.000-08:00

1 Small Step: sharing ways regular people are living into a kingdom reality. Email me, at right, with a Small Step!

One Methodist church in North Carolina has taken all of the Barbies out of their church nursery. If the reasons why this is a kingdom win aren't obvious, pick up a copy of Unsqueezed. Folks, this is really doable.

Once you're down in your own church's nursery, are there other kingdom possibilities to be considering for the toy bin? Additions? Subtractions?

Talk to us, people...